...And so goes another New Year's celebration season. Nothing more to look forward to than the dismal drudgery that winter usually brings. You may find this perspective to be morose, but I'm not here to listen to what you have to say. I'm here to do nothing more than to tell you what I think and what I'm doing and suggest that you do what I'm doing because by virtue of the fact that you're reading this, you find what I have to say more interesting than some aspect or another of your life. Anyway, that being said, I'm just going to jump right into it.
I don't believe in New Year resolutions. The only resolution I care about is that of my television and digital camera. First rule of thumb, if you want to make sure something is going to fail, promise yourself that you'll do it. The easiest person to forgive for welching on a promise is yourself. Everyone else will hold it over your head until you turn blue and go room temperature. This is precisely why I don't make resolutions, despite the high standards I hold for myself. I will always have at least one "legitimate" reason for everything I don't do or don't see through. In light of this, I make New Year observations. That way, if I adhere to them throughout the year, chances are I've helped myself in one form or another. Conversely, if I only make them around New Year time and don't observe them again throughout the year - I can't say I didn't warn myself. Here are a few observations that I made this year...
1) Most people these days have let their inner child overtake them. Remember this in dealing with other people. Whatever virtues you may have, chances are the people I'm referring to either aren't comfortable with them or your virtues are completely alien to them. This is primarily because if they were to develop and maintain the same virtues as you, they wouldn't have half of the good times that they have nor would they think they're a fraction as special as they currently believe themselves to be.Therefore, they act like they have not reached that crucial developmental stage where virtues are learned and internalized, which is roughly 5 through 12 years of age. They'd rather wear cartoon themed socks, barrettes in their hair, or "vintage" t-shirts with a depiction of a cartoon or comic book from their actual childhood. This kind of attire is usually the biggest tell. Unfortunately, people like this come in all sorts of packaging which can and sometimes does exclude the aforementioned garb. Equally as unfortunately, there are no limits as to where you will find these kinds of people. They may be somewhere in the chain of command above you at your job or the jerk who is selling that thing you desperately need on Craig's List. They expect you to treat them a certain way, all the while extending you none of the same courtesies. If you can manage to keep people like this out of your life, then do so. For those who you can't, like bosses who may fit the above criteria, my best recommendation is to minimize contact with them altogether. If that can't be done then I'm sorry for you. Just remember that on some level or another, people who allow their inner child to govern their behavior can also be led around by the nose and if there's opportunity to do so, then take it. The adage of "if you want to act like a child, then I'll treat you like one" never truly goes away and if it does, age isn't one of those triggers.
2) Do an honest inventory of who your friends are. You'll find that you don't have as many as you'd think you do and that's okay. Over the years and decades, people have allowed the criteria for friendship to degrade considerably. Nowadays, all it takes for many people we know to qualify as our friend is that they don't do anything to offend or hurt us. I personally know of a few people that meet that criteria who I don't consider friends. It seems we have forgotten that it is perfectly acceptable to have expectations of those we count as our friends. Ever had someone help you out in a bind who never reminded you after the fact? How about someone who reaches out to you when they haven't heard from you in a while just to see if everything's okay? Perhaps someone who stood by you when other "friends" judged you or turned their backs on you outright? True friends don't require much else than to know that you would do the kinds of things mentioned here for them without them having to ask. If they're your friends, you won't have to ask them either. I find that the more time you waste on people who aren't your true friends is a disservice to those who are.
3) Take ownership of your behavior and how it affects other people. There are already enough mouth breathers out in the world that don't hold themselves responsible for how they act. Don't be that guy. And in dealing with people who fit the description, try to be the better person. This is where most people stop. They'll take and take and take whatever people will dish out. I too fondly remember the days when if you ignored someone, they'd stop antagonizing you. These days, it's taken by fools as an invitation or even a dare to step their game up. Ultimately, all you can control is your own behavior. However, there is nothing immoral about getting a direct, almost to the point of rudeness when initially being polite doesn't work. Don't be obnoxious yourself but for crying out loud, don't let someone else's behavior paint you into a corner.
4) In case you didn't notice, the economy's still in the toilet. You've generally got two types of people: Those who think it's all about the money and those who think that money doesn't matter. Who says that both can't be right? Give money its due importance. Yes, these days, life seems to be devoid of that critical element that means more than money - a good time with friends, time out on the sun-deck reading a book, or time spent with your kids. Whatever it is, you probably need more of it. And yeah, it's ok to occasionally "call in slick" to get a little "me time" or whatever it is. Just not to the point where it is equal time between work and "play". Some folks today are too pampered to the point of thinking they need a vacation every 10 minutes. Nothing irks me more than people on Facebook who post 200 pictures of their vacation and bitch about having to go back to work. Two weeks later, I see a post like this one: "Isn't it vacation time yet???" No, you lazy slug - it isn't.
The transverse of this observation is giving money it's due importance. If you live for the next dollar you're going to get, then I feel for you. However, once you get that dollar, treat it with the same respect you would a $100 bill. Just because something is cheap doesn't mean you should buy it. The same goes with things that are on sale. Sales don't create needs. Impulses only create rationalizations. Enough of both can create poverty or debt. If you treat your money like garbage, then expect not to have any. Myself, I look upon the meager amounts of money I get as important enough to safeguard against being wasted. So should you. Look for the bargains, clip coupons, and don't spend when you don't have to. There are precious few people that can "spend like they've got it" because they do. If you're reading this, you're probably not one of them. In the face of living in an era era where thinking evidently hurts, the next time you pick something up at the store (I mean physically take it off the rack or shelf), ask yourself: "Do I really need this/Is this worth it?" or "Can I find this at a better price somewhere else?" The end result is likely to be more money for things like family vacations and so on.
There's no reason why you can't "live clean" for the New Year. Resolutions are entirely up to you. If you're one of those that can actually abide by the new rules you set for yourself, then I suppose a kudos is in order. If not, then making New Year observations and acting accordingly might be the option for you. Best of luck to you.
