As with politics, I didn't follow sports until I got much older. I looked forward to being a part of something exciting and unpredictable when I first became a Redskins and Capitals Fan. Many who have been amongst the District's "loyal" football fan base will tell you, this is one heartbreaker of an undertaking. However, I would have expected there to be some level of etiquette in regards to sports fandom. Equally as diverse as the cultural makeup of this region, so goes the fan base of other teams. I figured all there was to being a fan of any team (I still hold on to the Celtics and the Red Sox for basketball and baseball) was supporting the team, wearing their merchandise and cheering for them, win or lose. If any of my teams of choice lost - oh well, there's always the next game. Also much like politics, choosing your respective camp has apparently become a polarizing experience for some. Your teams rule and all others suck seems to be the way of the sports world for these types. I didn't realize that there is a small but growing demographic of sports fans that feel that in addition to being a loyalist to your chosen team, you must also dump mercilessly on other teams. Personally, I think it takes a certain kind of prick to be this kind of fan. As I mentioned earlier, there seems to be a lack of etiquette when it comes to being a true sports fan. As there doesn't seem to be any scriptures of any kind on this matter, allow me to make a few based on some observations I've made.
1. Realize and accept just how good or bad your team is. Nothing is more annoying than a fan who is delusional about their team. I will be the first to admit that I have violated this guideline in the past. I will use as my example my prior delusion that the Redskins were capable of pulling themselves out of an abysmal losing season. To my dismay, they would march on to whatever 6-10 or 4-12 season they would end up having. Don't tell yourself and more importantly, don't go telling the world how your chosen team is going to come back strong and win anything of significance. This modality of behavior will only lead to a lifelong regimen of anti-depressants.
2. While supporting your chosen team, don't disparage other people's favorite teams, particularly if the team you support isn't doing as well as the team you're shitting on. It doesn't make you look like a noble fan - it makes you look like an asshole. If your pronation is to deride a 5-6 team while your team is 1-10, my advice to you is keep whatever you might want to say to yourself. Seriously, don't let it get past your lips. I can't stand questions that have no true answers such as "Where does this guy get the balls to run down XXX team when his team is last in the conference/division/league?" Nothing good is going to come of talking shit about a sports team that is doing better than your team of choice, unless of course you're specifically looking to be ridiculed for being a moron.
3. If you're going to ignore guideline #2, then expect to get dressed down by a few people people, some of whom will be stats gurus. I'm not that guy. Not yet, anyway, but I could become that guy. I was once told to never get angry at facts. I don't see why that philosophy wouldn't hold true with sports as well. If you're going to be stupid enough to talk badly about someone else's team, especially in the above mentioned scenario, then you at least owe it to yourself to be ready to have a bunch of stats slammed down your throat along with being told to shut up. Thanks to the advent of Al Gore's internet, those stats are at the fingertips of every sports fanatic who loves to argue. If you're the kind of person who likes to throw caution and, well, common sense to the wind, then go on ahead and make your boisterous claims. I'm sure you'll come out of it looking like a genius.
4. If your conduct has taken you to guideline #3, then consider this a little bit of after-care. If you've been embarrassed by someone who has made the case for why you should shut your mouth, you should REALLY think about doing just that. Don't try and come back with some witty retort and for the love of anything holy, don't attempt to make the person who just made you look like an idiot or an asshole (likely both by this point) out to be a bigger jerk than you. You knew what you were getting into when you opened your mouth. You ignored all the warning signs and now anyone who might have been present for your antics knows how big of a tool you are.
It's really as simple as this - stick to hoping the team you chose to support has a great season. When they don't, hope for a rebuilding year the following year. If they go all the way - great, enjoy the reverie and celebrations with your fellow fans. Don't use sports as yet another venue to show others the inner bastard you truly are. If this isn't possible for you, then be prepared to take from those who can no longer tolerate your behavior what you dish out.
